Die Simpsons

Songs In The Key Of Springfield

ursprünglich verwaltet von Björn Larsson <bjoern.larsson@uloc.de>
Zusätzlichen Dank an Anton Andriyenko <andriyenko@okay.net>

Original Recordings & Compilation Produced by Alf Clausen
ISBN 1-56826-765-7 (amazon.com, search)
01 [THE SIMPSONS MAIN TITLE THEME (Extended Version) (mp3, 360kB)] (1:36)
(Danny Elfman) Arr & adapt. by Alf Clausen
aus der Folge Cape Feare (10/7/93)
  The Simpsons...
02 [WE DO (THE STONECUTTERS' SONG) (mp3, 320kB)] (1:16)
Marge & Homer Intro; The Stonecutters
(Alf Clausen/ John Swartzwelder) *
aus der Folge Homer The Great (1/8/95)
Marge: Homer, a man who called himself You-Know-Who just invited you to a secret wink-wink at the you-know-what. You certainly are popular now that you're a Stonecutter.
Homer: Oh, yeah. [reads from a book] "Beer busts, beer blasts, keggers, stein hoists, A.A. meetings, beer nights..." It's wonderful, Marge! I've never felt so accepted in all my life. These people look deep within my soul and assign me a number based on the order in which I joined.
Stonecutters: Who controls the British crown?
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do! We do.
Who keeps Atlantis off the maps?
Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
We do! We do.
Who holds back the electric car?
Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star?
We do! We do.
Who robs cave fish of their sight?
Who rigs every Oscar night?
We do! We do.
03 [DANCIN' HOMER (Medley) (mp3, 416kB)] (1:42)
aus der Folge Dancin' Homer (11/8/90)
The Simpsons
(Alf Clausen) **
Homer: Well, kids, there it is! Capital City!
b) CAPITOL CITY (1:32)
Tony Bennett, with The Simpsons
(Jeff Martin) ***
Tony: There's a swingin' town I know called Capital City.
People stop and scream hello in Capital City.
It's the kind of place that makes a bum feel like a king.
And it makes a king feel like some nutty, cuckoo, super-king.
Marge: Look, it's Tony Bennett!
Tony: Hey, good to see you.
  It's against the law to frown in Capital City.
You'll caper like a super-clown when you chance to see
Fourth Street and `D'! Yeah!
Once you get a whiff of it, you'll never want to roam.
In Capital City, my home sweet, yeah!
Capital City, that happy-go city,
It's Capital City, my home sweet swingin' home!
All: Capital City! Yeah!
04 [HOMER & APU (Medley) (mp3, 470kB)] (1:54)
aus der Folge Homer and Apu (2/10/94)
Lisa Intro; Apu & The Simpsons
(Alf Clausen/ Greg Daniels) *
Lisa: I think what my father's sayin' is, you're like a member of the family now.
Apu: I feel that way, too. You see, whether igloo hut, or lean-to, or a geodesic dome, there's no structure I have been to, which I'd rather call my home.
  When I first arrived, you were all such jerks,
But now I've come to love your quirks.
Maggie with her eyes so bright,
Marge with hair by Frank Lloyd Wright,
Lisa can philosophize, Bart's adept at spinning lies,
Homer's a delightful fella, sorry about the salmonella.
Homer: Heh heh, that's O.K.!
Apu: Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Now here's the tricky part.
Oh, won't you rhyme with me?
Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Marge: Their floors are Stick-E-Mart.
Lisa: They make Dad Sick-E-Mart.
Bart: Let's hurl a Brick-E-Mart.
Homer: The Kwik-E-Mart is real...D'oh!
All: Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart?
Apu: Not me [held for next three lines]
OFF: Forget the Kwik-E-Mart,
Goodbye to Kwik-E-Mart,
Who needs the Kwik-E-mart?
Apu: Not me.
b) WHO NEEDS THE KWIK-E-MART? (Reprise) (:39)
Homer & Marge Intro; Apu, with Homer
(Alf Clausen/ Greg Daniels)
Homer: Everything really wrapped up nicely. [checks his watch]
Mh, much quicker than usual.
Marge: I guess we've learned that happiness is wherever you find it.
Homer: And we've all found happiness, every one of us.
[Apu sobs in the background]
Hey, what's that sound?
[outside, they see Apu on the roof]
Apu: Who needs the Kwik-E-Mart? I do.
Homer: Hey, he's not happy at all. He lied to us through song. I hate when people do that!
05 ['ROUND SPRINGFIELD (Medley) (mp3, 704kB)] (2:56)
aus der Folge 'Round Springfield (4/30/95)
Lisa & DJ Intro; Bleeding Gums Murphy, with Lisa
(Alf Clausen)
[Alto saxophone solo: Dan Higgins]
Lisa: I got the album!
DJ: Here, you listen to it on this.
Lisa: I did the best I could, Bleeding Gums.
  [music plays in the radio]
  That was for you, Bleeding Gums.
Bleeding Gums Murphy, Cast & Lisa
(Alf Clausen) *
BG: [appearing in the cloud] You've made an old jazzman happy, Lisa.
Mufasa: [appearing in the cloud] You must avenge my death, Kimba - I mean, Simba.
Darth Vader: [appearing in the cloud] Luke, I am your father.
James Earl Jones: [appearing in the cloud] This is CNN.
BG: Will you guys pipe down? I'm saying goodbye to Lisa!
All: We're sorry. [they vanish]
Lisa: I don't want you to go.
BG: Sorry, but I have to. Goodbye.
Lisa & Bleeding Gums Murphy
(Alf Clausen)
Lisa: [sobbing] Goodbye...
BG: Oh, what the heck: once more from the top.
Lisa: Yay!
d) JAZZMAN (1:15)
Lisa & Bleeding Gums Murphy
(Carole King/ David Palmer) *
[Alto saxophone solo: Dan Higgins; Baritone saxophone solo: Terry Harington]
Lisa: When the Jazzman's testifyin', a faithless man believes.
He can sing you into paradise, or bring you to your knees.
Jazzman, take my blues away,
Make my pain the same as yours with every change you play.
Jazzman, oh, Jazzman.
  One more time!
BG: Oh, come on, Lisa! I got a date with Billie Holiday.
06 ["OH, STREETCAR!" (The Musical) (mp3, 980kB)] (4:02)
aus der Folge A Streetcar Named Marge (10/1/92)
a) WHITE-HOT GREASE FIRES (Prologue) (:20)
Director (Jon Lovitz) & Cast
(Alf Clausen)
Director: Perhaps we're all a little mad, we who done cap and bells, and tread beneath the proscenium arch, but,
tonight, you will all be transformed from dead-eyed
suburbanites into white hot grease fires of pure
entertainment! - Except you. You're well not here, and
I'll be playing your part.
Otto: Drag!
Chief Wiggum
(Jeff Martin)
Wiggum: Long before the Superdome,
Where the Saints of football play,
Lived a city that the damned call home,
Hear their hellish rondelet:
c) NEW ORLEANS (:36)
(Jeff Martin)
Cast: New Orleans!
Home of pirates, drunks, and whores...
New Orleans!
Tacky, overpriced souvenir stores...
If you want to go to hell, you should take a trip
To the Sodom and Gomorrah of the Mississip':
New Orleans!
Stinking, rotten, vomiting, vile...
New Orleans!
Putrid, brackish, maggotty, foul...
New Orleans!
Crummy, lousy, rancid and rank...
New Orleans!
Cast & Marge Intro; Marge, with Apu
(Jeff Martin)
What's the matter, honey? Are you lost?
Marge: I'm looking for my sister Stella.
Bart: It's Mum!
Homer: huee?!
Marge: My name is Blanche DuBois?.
  I thought my life, would be a Mardi Gras.
A never-ending party... Ha!
I'm a faded Southern dame without a dime.
(Jeff Martin) *
Steve: I'm collecting for the Evening Star.
Blanche: [sexily] Come here... I wanna kiss you, just
once. Softly, and sweetly on your mouth...
Steve: I am just a simple paperboy, no romance do I seek.
I just wanted forty cents, for my deliveries last week.
Will this bewitching floozy
Seduce this humble newsie?
Oh, what's a paperboy to do?
Blanche: [kisses Steve]
Steve: Woo-Hoo!
f) STELLA (:17)
Ned Flanders
(Jeff Martin)
Stanley: Stella! STELLA! Can't you hear me YELLA!
You're puttin' me through HELLA! Stella! STELLA!
g) SHE FLIES (:34)
(Alf Clausen)
Marge & Cast
(Jeff Martin)
Blanche: Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.
Chorus: You can always depend on the kindness of strangers
To pluck up your spirits, and shield you from dangers.
Blanche: Now here's a tip from Blanche you won't regret:
Chorus: A stranger's just a friend you haven't met.
You haven't met.
07 [JINGLE BELLS (mp3, 185kB)] (:43)
Robert Goulet, with Bart, Smithers, Mr Burns & Nelson
(James Pierpont/ arr. & adapt. by Alf Clausen)
aus der Folge $pringfield (Or, How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Legalized Gambling) (12/16/93)
Goulet: Hi. You from the casino?
Bart: I'm from a casino.
Goulet: Good enough. Let's go.
Smithers: I'm afraid Robert Goulet hasn't arrived yet, sir.
Burns: Hmm. Very well; begin the thawing of Jim Nabors.
Goulet: Are you sure this is the casino? I think I should call my manager.
Nelson: Your manager says for you to shut up!
Goulet: Vera said that?Hm.
  Jingle Bells, Batman Smells
Robin laid an egg
Batmobile lost its wheel
The Joker got away, hey!
  Thank you, thank you very much.
[hits Milhouse with his microphone]
Oh, I'm sorry, kid.
08 [$PRINGFIELD (Medley) (mp3, 222kB)] (:51)
aus der Folge $pringfield (Or, How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Legalized Gambling) (12/16/93)
a) THE SIMPSONS END CREDITS THEME ("Big Band Vegas" Version) (:46)
(Danny Elfman) Arr. & adapt. by Alf Clausen
(Jeffrey Townsend)
09 ["ITCHY & SCRATCHY" MAIN TITLE THEME (mp3, 97kB)] (:22)
(Robert Israel/ Sam Simon)
aus der Folge Itchy & Scratchy & Marge (12/20/90)
  They fight!
They bite!
They fight and bite and fight!
Fight fight fight!
Bite bite bite!
The Itchy and Scratchy Show!
10 ["ITCHY & SCRATCHY" END CREDITS THEME (mp3, 72kB)] (:15)
(Robert Israel/ Sam Simon/ Al Jean/ Mike Reiss)
aus der Folge The Front (4/15/93)
  They fought,
and bit.
They fought and fought and bit.
Fought, fought, fought,
bit, bit, bit.
It was the Itchy and Scratchy Show!
11 [THE DAY THE VIOLENCE DIED (Medley) (mp3, 445kB)] (1:49)
aus der Folge The Day The Violence Died (3/17/96)
Krusty The Clown
(Alf Clausen)
Krusty: Well, Itchy & Scratchy are gone, but here's a
cartoon that tries to make learning fun! [tries to
laugh, then moans] Sorry about this kids, but stay
tuned; we got some real good toy commercials coming right
up, I swear.
Jack Sheldon, with Kid, Bart, Lisa & Cast
(Alf Clausen/ John Swartzwelder)
Boy: Hey, who left all this garbage on the steps of Congress?
Amendment: I'm not garbage.
  I'm an amendment to be
Yes, an amendment to be
And I'm hoping that they'll ratify me
There's a lot of flag burners
Who have got too much freedom
I wanna make it legal
For policemen
To beat 'em
'Cause there's limits to our liberties
'Least I hope and pray that there are
'Cause those liberal freaks go too far.
Boy: But why can't we just make a law against flag burning?
Amendment: Because that law would be unconstitutional. But if we changed the Constitution...
Boy: Then we could make all sorts of crazy laws!
Amendment: Now you're catching on!
Bart: What the hell is this?
Lisa: It's one of those campy '70s throwbacks that appeals to Generation Xers.
Bart: We need another Vietnam to thin out their ranks a little.
Boy: What if people say you're not good enough to be in the Constitution?
Amendment: Then I'll crush all opposition to me
And I'll make Ted Kennedy pay
If he fights back
I'll say that he's gay
Big Fat Guy: Good news, Amendment! They ratified 'ya. You're in the U.S. Constitution!
Amendment: Oh, yeah! Door's open, boys!
Lisa: So it's true: some cartoons do encourage violence. [punches Bart]
Bart: Ow!
12 [SEÑOR BURNS (mp3, 310kB)] (1:16)
Tito Puente & his Latin Jazz Ensemble
(Alf Clausen/ Bill Oakley/ Josh Weinstein) *
aus der Folge Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two) (9/17/95)
Singer: Wounds won't last long, but an insulting song
Burns will always carry with him.
So I'll settle my score on the salsa floor
With this vengeful Latin rhythm.
Chorus: Burns!
Singer: Con un corazo'n de perro.
Chorus: Seor Burns!
Singer: El diablo con dinero.
It may not surprise you, but all of us despise you
Please die, and fry in hell
You rotten rich old wretch
Adios viejo.
13 [THE SIMPSONS END CREDITS THEME ("Afro-Cuban" Version) (mp3, 201kB)] (:47)
Tito Puente & his Latin Jazz Ensemble
(Danny Elfman) Arr. & adapt. by Alf Clausen *
aus der Folge Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two) (9/17/95)
14 [YOUR WIFE DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU (mp3, 386kB)] (1:34)
Announcer & Cast Intro; Lurleen (Beverly D'Angelo), with Homer
(Jeff Martin)
aus der Folge Colonel Homer (3/26/92)
Announcer: The next act is our very own singing waitress Lurleen.
[crowd cheers]
So, I'm afraid, drink service will stop for just a few moments.
[crowd yells]
They're all yours...
Homer: Stupid Marge, tells me to shut up.
Lurleen: Thank you. Tonight I'd like to trust someone little different. It's a song I wrote while I was mopping up your blood and teeth.
  You work all day for some old man
Sweat and break your back
Homer: Yeah!
Lurleen: Then you go home to your castle,
But your queen won't cut you slack.
Homer: That's true!
Lurleen: That's why you're losin' all your hair,
That's why you're overweight,
Homer: ahaa...
Lurleen: That's why you flipped your pickup truck
Right off the interstate.
Homer: That's right! - Except of the pickup truck...
Lurleen: There's a lot of bull they hand you,
There's nothin' you can do,
Your wife don't understand you, but I do.
No, your wife don't understand you, but I do!
I said noone understands you, but I do!
Homer: Hey! Hey, Lurleen! I gotta say something to you.
Lurleen: I'm listenin'...
Homer: Your song touched me in a way I've never felt before. - And which way to the can?
15 [KAMP KRUSTY (Medley) (mp3, 562kB)] (2:18)
aus der Folge Kamp Krusty (9/24/92)
Bart & Krusty Intro; Gene Merlino
(Jimmy Kennedy/ Michael Carr)
Bart: How could you Krusty? [smugly] I'd never lend my name to an inferior product.
Krusty: Ahaa! They drove a dumper truck full of money up to my house. I'm not made of stone!
Bart: Krusty! This camp was a nightmare! They fed us gruel, they forced us to make wallets for export, and one of the campers was eaten by a bear!
Krusty: [horrified] Oh my God!!
Bart: Well, actually, the bear just ate his hat.
Krusty: Was it a nice hat?
Bart: Oh yeah.
Krusty: [horrified] Oh My God!! Well, I'm gonna make it all up to you. I'm gonna show you kids the time of your life. Get ready for two weeks at the happiest place on earth! Tijuana!
Kids: [cheer]
  South of the border,
Down Mexico way.
That's where I fell in love
When stars above came out to play.
And now as I wander,
My thoughts have restrained,
South of the border,
Down Mexico way.
There she was a picture,
In old Spanish lace.
And just for a tender while
I kissed the smile upon her face.
For it was Fiesta,
And we were so gay,
South of the border,
Down Mexico way.
Those mission bells told me
That I must not stray.
South of the border,
Down Mexico way!
(Jeffrey Townsend)
END CREDITS SUITE #1 (Tks 16-18)
16 [THE SIMPSONS END CREDITS THEME ("Australian" Version) (mp3, 216kB)] (:52)
(Danny Elfman) Arr. & adapt. by Alf Clausen *
aus der Folge Bart Vs. Australia (2/19/95)
17 [THE SIMPSONS END CREDITS THEME ("Hill Street Blues" Homage) (mp3, 193kB)] (:45)
(Danny Elfman) Arr. & adapt. by Alf Clausen *
aus der Folge The Springfield Connection (5/7/95)
18 [THE SIMPSONS END CREDITS THEME ("It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World" Homage) (mp3, 201kB)] (:47)
(Danny Elfman) Arr. & adapt. by Alf Clausen *
aus der Folge Homer The Vigilante (1/6/94)
19 [TREEHOUSE OF HORROR V (Medley) (mp3, 332kB)] (1:21)
aus der Folge Treehouse Of Horror V (10/30/94)
Bart & Homer
(Alf Clausen)
Bart: There's nothing wrong with your television set. Do not attempt to adjust your picture. We are controlling the transmission.
Homer: What's that, boy? We're in control? Hey, look! I can see my voice! [laughs] Brrr...hee! Heeee! [changing pitches] Blub blub blub blub blub! Thiiis...iis my vooice...onteeeveeeee -
Bart: Dad! You're ruining the mood.
Homer: Sorry.
Bart: For the next half-hour, we will control what you see and hear. You are about to experience the terror and foul horror of...The Simpsons Halloween Special.
(Danny Elfman) Arr. & adapt. by Alf Clausen
20 [HONEY ROASTED PEANUTS (mp3, 248kB)] (:59)
Homer & Marge
aus der Folge Boy-Scoutz N The Hood (11/18/93)
Homer: Ah, finally a little quiet time to read some of my old favorites... [Looks at books, picks up peanut jar] Honey-roasted peanuts. Ingredients: "Salt, artificial honey-roasting agents, [excited] pressed peanut sweepings..." Mmm.
Marge: Homer, I have to go out to pick up something for dinner.
Homer: Steak?
Marge: Money's too tight for steak!
Homer: Steak?
Marge: Er, sure, steak...
Homer: Ah, the last peanut - overflowing with the oil and salt of its departed brothers. - o-oh, something's wrong. Ow, pointy! Eww, slimy. Oh, moving! Ah-ha! Oh, twenty dollars... I wanted a peanut!
Homer's brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
Homer: Woo hoo!
21 [BOY SCOUTZ N THE HOOD (Medley) (mp3, 898kB)] (3:41)
aus der Folge Boy-Scoutz N The Hood (11/18/93)
Apu, Milhouse & Bart
(Alf Clausen)
Apu: Hello gents,what will it be?
Milhouse: Hi, Apu, give us a Super Squishy.
Bart: One that's made entirely out of syrup.
Apu: Entirely ou- huh! An all-syrup Super Squishy? Oh, s-such a thing has never been done.
Bart: Just make it happen.
Apu: Whow, oh dear... Ooh, no, she won't hold! She's breaking up! All done! If you survive, please come again!
  [boys cheer]
Milhouse: It's so thick! Your turn, Bart!
Bart: Whoa! That's good squishy.
b) JACKPOT (:19)
Milhouse & Bart
(Alf Clausen)
Milhouse: What's it like, Bart? Gimme that!
Bart: OK, we're young, rich, and full of sugar. What do we do?
Milhouse: Let's go crazy, Broadway style!
c) SPRINGFIELD, SPRINGFIELD (Parts 1 & 2) (1:32)
Bart & Milhouse, with Cast
(Alf Clausen/ Dan McGrath?) *
  [singing together]
Springfield, Springfield, it's a hell of a town:
the schoolyard's up and the shopping mall's down.
The stray dogs go to the animal pound,
Bart: Springfield, Springfield!
Milhouse: Springfield, Springfield!
Sailor: New York, New York!
Bart: New York is that-a-way, man!
Sailor: Thanks, kid!
Milhouse & Bart: It's a hell of a town!
Homer: Mmm, free goo.
Milhouse: Hey, don't bother that Squishy!
Barney: I don't know where you magic pixies came from, but I like your pixie drink!
Apu: [laughs]
Bart & Lisa
(Alf Clausen)
Bart: [groans] Oh, my head.
Lisa: [tsk, tsk, tsk] The remorse of the sugar junkie.
Bart: Ohh...I don't remember anything.
Lisa: Really? Not even...this? [pulls back the covers, Bart is dressed as in a uniform]
Bart: Aah! Oh, no! I must have joined the Junior Campers.
Lisa: The few, the proud, the geeky. [laughs unsympathetically]
Bart: Boy, a man on a Squishy bender can sure do some crazy things.
Bart, Marge & Homer
(Alf Clausen)
Bart: OK, look: I made a terrible mistake.  I wandered into a Junior Camper recruitment center, but what's done is done: I've made my bed, and now I've got to weasel out of it.
Marge: I know you think the Junior Campers are square and "uncool", but they also do a lot of neat things, like sing-alongs and flag ceremonies.
Homer: Marge, don't discourage the boy. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! - Except the weasels.
From the episode Two Dozen And One Greyhounds (4/9/95)


Mr. Burns, with Lisa
(Alf Clausen)
Burns: You stay with me; you're the pick of the litter.
Lisa: Maybe we were wrong about Burns on this one.
b) SEE MY VEST (1:35)
Smithers Intro; Mr. Burns, with Maid, Lisa & Bart
(Alf Clausen/ Michael Scully) *
Smithers: Are you sure you want to go through with this, Sir? You do have a very full wardrobe as it is.
Burns: Yes...but not completely full. For you see...
  Some men hunt for sport, others hunt for food,
The only thing I'm hunting for is an outfit that looks good.
See my vest, see my vest, made from real gorilla chest,
Feel this sweater, there's no better than authentic Irish Setter.
See this hat?  'T was my cat.  My evening wear?  Vampire bat.

These white slippers are albino African endangered rhino.
Grizzly bear underwear; turtles' necks, I've got my share.
Beret of poodle on my noodle it shall rest;
Try my red robin suit, it comes one breast or two,
See my vest, see my vest, see my vest!
Like my loafers?  Former gophers! It was that or skin my chauffers,

But a greyhound fur tuxedo would be best.
So let's prepare these dogs.
Maid: Kill two for matching clogs!
Burns: See my vest, see my vest, oh please, won't you see my vest?
  I really like the vest.
Smithers: I gathered, yeah.
Lisa: He's gonna make a tuxedo out of our puppies!
  [Bart hums "See my vest"]
Bart: Sorry. You gotta admit, it's catchy.
Kent Brockman Intro; with Homer
(Alf Clausen)
From the episode Flaming Moe's (11/21/91)
Kent Brockman: Hallo! I am Kent Brockman and this is 'Eye on Springfield'!
Homer: Wow! Infotainment!
24 FLAMING MOE'S (:59)
Kipp Lennon, with Cast
(Jeff Martin)
From the episode Flaming Moe's (11/21/91)
  When the weight of the world has got you down
and you want to end your life.
Bills to pay, a dead-end job,
and problems with the wife.
But don't throw in the tow'l,
'cuz there's a place right down the block...
Where you can drink your misery away...
At Flaming Moe's... (Let's all go to Flaming Moe's...)
When liquor in a mug (Let's all go to Flaming Moe's...)
can warm you like a hug. (Flaming Moe's...)
And happiness is just a Flaming Moe away...
Happiness is just a Flaming Moe away...
All: Barney!
Bartender: How's the world treating you, Mr. Gumble?
Barney: [belch]
From the episode Homer's Barbershop Quartet (9/30/93)


Principal Skinner & Apu
(Les Applegate/ arr. & adapt. by Alf Clausen)
Skinner: I can't remember the last time we were all together.
Apu: Last year, on that stupid Dame Edna Special.
b) BABY ON BOARD (1:15)
The Be Sharps, with Cast
(Jeff Martin/ Shelby Grimm/ Harry Campbell/ George Economou/ Danny Jordan)
Barney: An-a-one, an-a-two, an-a-three...
The Be Sharps: Baby on board, how I'm adored,
That sign on my car's windowpane
bouncin' my step, load in with pep.
'Cause I'm driving in the carpool lane
Call me a square, friend I don't care
That little yellow sign can't be ignored
I'm telling you it's mighty nice
Each trip's a trip to paradise
With my baby on board.
Homer: I'd like to thank you on behalf of the group, and I hope we passed the audition.
Barney: I don't get it.
26 TV SUCKS! (:32)
Homer & Bart
From the episode Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie (11/3/92)
Homer: Someday you'll thank me for this, son.
Bart: Not bloody likely.
Homer: No, it's true! You know, when I was a boy, I really wanted a catcher's mitt, but my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. [cheerily] The doctor thought I might have brain damage.
Bart: Dad, what's the point of this story?
Homer: [cheerily] I like stories.
Bart: Look, can I please go to the movie?
Homer: I know my punishment might seem a little harsh, but I can't go back on it. You're welcome to watch anything you want on TV.
Bart: TV sucks!
27 A FISH CALLED SELMA (Medley) (3:06)
From the episode A Fish Called Selma (3/24/96)


Agent MacArthur? Parker (Jeff Goldblum) & Troy McClure
(Alf Clausen)
Parker: Troy! Mac Parker. Ever hear of... Planet of the Apes?
Troy: Uh... the movie or the planet?
Parker: The brand-new multimillion dollar musical. And you are starring... as the human.
Troy: It's the part I was born to play, baby!
(Alf Clausen) *
Ape: Help, the human's about to escape.
Troy: Get your paws off me, you dirty ape.
Ape: [gasping] He can talk!
Apes: [in unison, rythmed]
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
He can talk
Troy: I can siiiiiing!
c) DR. ZAIUS (1:22)
Cast & Troy McClure, with Bart & Homer
(Alf Clausen/ Jack Barth)
Female Nurse Ape: Ooh, help me Dr. Zaius!
Apes: [in unison] 
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Oh... Dr. Zaius
Ape: Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius.
Troy: What's wrong with me?
Zaius: I think you're crazy.
Troy: Want a second opinion.
Zaius: You're also lazy.
Apes: [in unison]
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Oh... Dr. Zaius
Ape: Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius.
Troy: Can I play the piano anymore?
Zaius: Of course you can.
Troy: Well I couldn't before! [plays piano]
Apes: [in unison]
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Oh... Dr. Zaius
Ape: Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Apes: [in unison]
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Dr. Zaius, Dr. Zaius
Oh... Dr. Zaius
Bart: This play has everything!
Homer: Oh, I love legitimate theater.
Troy McClure & Cast
(Alf Clausen/ Jack Barth) *
Troy: I hate every ape I see
From chimpan a to chimpan z
No you'll never make a monkey out of me
Oh my God, I was wrong
It was Earth all along
You've finally made a monkey
Apes: Yes we've finally made a monkey
Troy & Apes: Yes you've finally made a monkey out of me.
Yes we've finally made a monkey out of you.
Troy: I love you, Dr. Zaius!
  Thank you, it's great to be back. I just want to say, I wouldn't be here without the support of a very special lady; my always outrageous fiancee Selma. Take a bow, sugar beet! Oh, lovely! Yeah, oh!
Homer: Down in front!
Announcer Intro; Krusty The Clown & Sideshow Mel
(Stephen Sondheim)
From the episode Krusty Gets Kancelled (5/13/93)
Announcer: Live from Springfield, the entertainment capital of this state: The Krusty Comeback Special!
Krusty: Send in the clowns,
those daffy, laughy clowns
Send in those soulful and dollful
Schmotes (?) by the bowful (?) clowns
Send in the clowns...
Sideshow Mel: They're already here...
  I love you Krusty.
Krusty: Quiet!
Lyle Lanley & Cast
(Jeff Martin/ Al Jean/ Mike Reiss/ George Meyer/ John Vitti/ John Swartzwelder/ Conan O'Brien/ Frank Mula) *
From the episode Marge Vs. The Monorail (1/14/93)
Lyle Lanley: You know, a town with money's a little like the mule with a spinning wheel. No one knows how he got it, and danged to be knows how to use it...
Homer: Hehe, mule...
Lyle Lanley The name's Lanley, Lyle Lanley. And I come before you, good people tonight, with an idea. Probably the greatest... ah, it's not for you. It's more of a Shelbyville idea...
Quimby No, wait just a minute. We're twice as smart as the people of Shelbyville. Just tell us your idea and we'll vote for it.
Lyle Lanley: Alright, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll show you my idea. I give you the Springfield monorail!
Crowd: Huuh!
Lyle Lanley: I've sold monorails to Brockway, Ogdenville and North Haverbrook, and by gum, it put them on the map!
Well, sir, there's nothing on earth like a genuine, bona fide, electrified, six-car Monorail!...
What'd I say?
Ned Flanders: Monorail!
Lyle Lanley: What's it called?
Patty & Selma: Monorail!
Lyle Lanley:  That's right! Monorail!
  [crowd chants `Monorail' softly and rhythmically]
Miss Hoover: I hear those things are awfully loud...
Lyle Lanley: It glides as softly as a cloud.
Apu: Is there a chance the track could bend?
Lyle Lanley: Not on your life, my Hindu friend.
Barney: What about us brain-dead slobs?
Lyle Lanley: You'll all be given cushy jobs.
Abe: Were you sent here by the devil?
Lyle Lanley: No, good sir, I'm on the level.
Wiggum: The ring came off my pudding can.
Lyle Lanley: Take my pen knife, my good man.
  I swear it's Springfield's only choice...
Throw up your hands and raise your voice!
All: [singing] Monorail!
Lyle Lanley: What's it called?
All: Monorail!
Lyle Lanley: Once again...
All: Monorail!
Marge: But Main Street's still all cracked and broken...
Bart: Sorry, Mom, the mob has spoken!
All: [singing] Monorail! Monorail! Monorail! [big finish] Monorail!
Homer: Mono... D'oh!
Grampa, with Mrs. Bouvier
(Alf Clausen)
From the episode Lady Bouvier's Lover (5/12/94)
Abe: You know, you remind me of a poem I can't remember, and a song that may never have existed, and a place I'm not sure I've ever been to.
Jackie: You're so sweet...
Abe: [thinking] Ooh, I feel all funny. [gasp] I'm in love! No, wait. It's a stroke.
31 COOL (:40)
Homer & Grampa
(Alf Clausen/ Bill Oakley/ Josh Weinstein)
From the episode Lady Bouvier's Lover (5/12/94)
Homer: If you want to make your move, you got to play it...cool.
[jazz bass and cymbals start playing]
[to the beat]
Now what you gotta do
If you wanna get a kiss
Is act real smooth
And make your move like this: [stands up, stretches and yawns, and sits down again, arm still outstretched so it lands around Abe's shoulder]
Abe: Oh, I see!
[to the beat]
So if I take your advice
And make your patented move,
Then my chances for love
Will slightly improve! [does the Homer move]
Homer: [giggles] Now what's that rule?
Abe: Play it cool. [music stops]
Lurleen (Beverly D'Angelo), with Recording Studio Guy, Homer & Marge
[Baritone saxophone solo: Terry Harrington; Harmonica solo: Tommy Morgan]
From the episode Colonel Homer (3/26/92)
Studio Guy: Ah, this studio has a lot o' history, ya. Buddy Holly stood on this spot in 1958 and said: 'There is no way in hell that I'm gonna record in this dump!'
Homer: I'm sure Lurleen will love it.
Marge: Homer, how much did you just give that man!?
Homer: Calm down, Marge, it's just our life savings. I'm not going into hock for this.
Lurleen: Hey, Colonel Homer! [kisses Homer] An' you mus' be...
Marge: Mrs. Homer Simpson!
Lurleen: John!
Marge: Hm... I thought you said she was overweight.
Homer: Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
Marge: What does that mean!?
Homer: I don't have time to answer all these questions - eh, time is money. [claps hands] Come on, people!
Lurleen: Well, come on boys! Let's break some hearts.
  Oh the bases were empty on the diamond of my heart,
When the coach called me up to the plate,
I'd been swingin', and missin', at lovin' and kissin',
My average was point double oh eight.
So I spit on my hands, knocked the dirt from my spikes,
And pointed right towards centre field,
This time I'm hitting a home run,
This time the love is for real.
I'll slide... I'll steal... I'll sacrifice
A lovin' fly for you,
I been slumping all season but now I found a reason,
I struck on a love that is true.
I used to play the field,
I used to be a roamer,
But the season's turning 'round for me now,
I finally bagged me a homer.
That's right, I finally bagged me a Homer.
Studio Guy: Eh, L-Lurleen. We gotta have to cut you off. We're getting some kind of grinding noise on the track.
  [music starts again]
Homer: Guess what, Lurleen. I got you a gig on TV!
Lurleen: [squeals with delight] Oh, Homer! You're as smart as you are handsome!
Homer: [angry] Hey! [softens] Oh, you meant that as a compliment.
(Ervin Drake)
From the episode Duffless (2/18/93)
Homer: Well beer, we've had some great times...
  When I was 17,
I drank some very good beer.
I drank some very good beer
I purchased with a fake ID
My name was Brian McGee?
I stayed up listening to Queen
When I was 17.
34 BART SELLS HIS SOUL (Medley) (2:04)
From the episode Bart Sells His Soul (10/8/95)


(Alf Clausen)
Bart: Hymns, here! I got hymns, here. Get 'em while they're holy. Fresh from God's brain to your mouth. Heh heh heh.
Lovejoy: And now, please rise for our opening hymn, uh..."In the Garden of Eden," by I. Ron Butterfly.
b) IN-A-GADDA-DA-VIDA (1:45)
Reverend Lovejoy & Cast, with Bart, Homer & Milhouse
(Doug Ingle) *
  [Mrs. Feesh starts playing]
Everyone: In-a-gadda-da-vida, honey, (In the garden of Eden, honey,)
Don't you know that I lo-ove yo-ou?
In-a-gadda-da-vida, baby, (In the garden of Eden, baby,)
Don't you know that I'll always be tru-ue?
[Bart chuckles]
Homer: [quietly] Hey Marge, remember when we used to make out to this hymn?
  [they both chuckle]
Marge: Sh-sh-sh!
Everyone: Oh won't you come with me
and take my hand?
Lovejoy: Wait a minute. This looks like rock and/or roll.
Everyone: Oh, won't you come with me
And walk this land.
Lovejoy: I know one of you is responsible for this. So repeat after me: If I withhold the truth, may I go straight to Hell where I will eat nought but burning hot coals and drink naught but burning hot cola.
[all the kids recite in unison]
Ralph: [scared] ...where fiery demons will puch me in the back,
Bart: [bored] ...where my soul will be chopped into confetti and be strewn upon a parade of murderers and single mothers,
Milhouse: ...where my tongue will be torn out by ravenous birds.
[a crow outside looks right at him an squawks]
Bart did it! That Bart right there!
Bart: [angry] Milhouse!
Lovejoy: Milhouse, you did the right thing. Bart, come with me for punishment.
[goes back for Milhouse] You too, snitchy.
[holding cleaning brushes] I want you to clean every one of these organ pipes that you have befouled with your popular music.
Lisa & Bart Intro; Leon Kompowski (Kipp Lennon) & Bart, with Lisa
(W.A. Mozart)
From the episode Stark Raving Dad (9/19/91)
Lisa: B-Bart - it's 6 a.m.
Bart: That's right! Hope you like your present!
An-a-one, an-a-two, an-a-one-two-three-four
Michael: Lisa, it's your birthday. God bless you this day.
You gave me the gift of a little sister, and I'm proud of you today.
Michael and Bart: Lisa, it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Lisa.
Lisa, it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Lisa.
Michael: I wish you love and good will. I wish you peace and joy.
Bart: I wish you better than your heart desires.
Michael: And your first kiss from a boy.
Michael and Bart: Lisa, it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Lisa.
Lisa, it's your birthday. Happy birthday, Lisa.
Bart: Yeah!
Lisa: Oh! This is the best present I ever got! Thank you, Bart!
END CREDITS SUITE #2 (Tks 36-39)
(Danny Elfman) Arr. & adapt. by Alf Clausen
From the episode Treehouse Of Horror IV (10/28/93)
37 WHO SHOT MR. BURNS? (PART ONE) (Medley) (:53)
From the episode Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One) (5/21/95)


(Danny Elfman) Arr. & adapt. by Alf Clausen
(Danny Elfman) Arr. & adapt. by Alf Clausen
38 LISA'S WEDDING (Medley) (:51)
From the episode Lisa's Wedding (3/19/95)


THE SIMPSONS END CREDITS THEME ("Renaissance" Version) (:46)
(Danny Elfman) Arr. & adapt. by Alf Clausen *
(Jeffrey Townsend)
39 THE SIMPSONS END CREDITS THEME ("Dragnet" Homage) (1:05)
(Danny Elfman) Arr. & adapt. by Alf Clausen *
From the episode Marge On the Lam (11/4/93)
Note: Numbers in parentheses denote original airdates
All Orchestrations by Alf Clausen, except:
* Dell Hake
** Hummie Mann
*** Brad Dechter

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Last edited February 16, 2005 17:33 by Frodolf (diff)