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Die Simpsons

"The Yellow Family"

zum Artikel

 Quelle: Süddeutsche Zeitung, Beilage
 URL: http://www.sueddeutsche-zeitung.de
 Datum Samstag, 9. Oktober 1999

This fall marks the Simpsons's big anniversary. For the last ten years, the cartoon family has entertained worldwide audiences with their chaotic lifestyle and their uncompromising thoughts on life. Matt Groening, inventor of the yellow clan, used one of his former works - cartoons depicting bunny rabbits - as an inspiration for the wise-cracking characters. The Simpsons made their first public appearance in April 1987 on the "Tracey Ullman Show". They were given their own show in October 1989. Today, Homer and marge and their children Bart, Lisa and Maggie are the stars of the longest running animated television series in the world. The Simpsons live on Evergreen Terrace in the American town of Springfield.

1. When should I leave home?

 Bart: You're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't. I'm stuck here until I can steal a car.
 Marge: Speaking of leaving home ... Homer, your supervisor just called in. He says if you don't come in today, don't bother coming in on Monday.
 Homer: Woo Hoo! Four-day weekend!
2. What do I need friends for?
 Homer: Once upon a time, there was a big mean lion who got a thorn in his paw. All the village people tried to pull it out, but nobody was strong enough! So, they got Hercules. And Hercules used his mighty strength, and Bingo! Anyway, the moral is, the lion was so happy, he gave Hercules this big... (thinks) thing... (thinks harder) of riches.

3. May I hope for true love?

 Homer: A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. They're about six feet tall and weigh 300 pounds. They make ice and ... um ... Oh, wait a minute. Actually, a woman is more like a beer! They look good, they smell good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman! When it comes to compliments, women are ravenous blood-sucking monters, always wanting more ... more ... more! And if you give it to them, you'll get plenty in return!
 Bart: Like what?
 Homer: I'll tell you when you're older.

4. Is there any point in arguing with people? Homer: There's nothing wrong with hitting someone when his back is turned. And if you get a chance, get him right in the family jewels. That little doozy has been a Simpson trademark for generations. Just squeeze your rage into a bitter little ball, and release it at an appropriate time. Like the day I hit the referee with the whiskey bottle. When I was a boy I really wanted a catcher's mitt. But my dad wouldn't get it for me. So I held my breath until I passed out and banged my head on the coffee table. The doctor said I might have brain damage.

 Bart: Dad? What's the point of this story?
 Homer: I like stories.

5. How important is the English language?

 Homer: English? Who needs English? I never go to England.

6. Your views on loneliness?

 Homer: I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.

7. Happiness?

 Homer: If you really want something in this life you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

8. How do I make the right decisions?

 Homer: If sometinh's hard to do, then it's not worth doing!

9. How do I get rich?

 Homer: If we had $10,000, we'd be millionaires.
 Marge: Homer, there are some things money just can't buy.
 Homer (thinking): Yeah ... a dinosaur.

10. Why have children?

 Marge: Homer, haven't you noticed anything different about Bart?
 Homer: New glasses?
 Marge: No, I mean there's something wrong with him.
 Homer: Maybe he misses his old glasses.
 Marge: MMRRRHHHHH!!!! He never wore glasses!
 Lisa:  He doesn't care, mom.
 Homer: Sure I do, I just want to have a beer while I'm caring.
 Marge: Bart, don't use the touch of death on your sister.
 Homer: All I'm saying is: Why can't both our kids be good?
 Marge: We have three kids, Homer!
 Homer: Marge, the dog doesn't count as a kid.
 Marge: No, Homer: Maggie.
 Homer: Ohhh, yeah. Lisa: Why do I get the feeling that someday I will be describing this to a psychiatrist?

11. Should I fear death?

 Homer: Don't worry, people die all the time. You could wake up dead tomorrow.
 Grampa Simpson: At my age death is around every corner. Ahhh, death!
 Lisa: Grampa, that's just Maggie.
 Grampa: Oh yeah. So I ... ahhh, death!
 Lisa: That's the cat.
 Grampa: Ahhh, death!
 Lisa: That's Maggie again. If anyone needs me, I'll be in my room.

12. What can I do to make my life a good one?

 Grampa: Oh, son, don't overreach! Go for the dented car, the dead-end job, the less attractive girl.
 Homer: If you don't like your job you don't strike, you just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way. But now I'm gonna tell you the three most important sentences in life: 1. "Can you cover for me?" 2. "Good idea, boss!" 3. "I didn't do it."

Compiled by Stefan Kuzmany

Vielen Dank an [Thomas Baumgartner] für den Scan des Artikels.